Wednesday 12 June 2013

FAMILY and FRIENDS

Looking at my notes it's been about ten weeks since i've written anything, the last blog posted on 16th April had been written quite a while before it was posted. It's felt good to be back in front of the laptop creating people and situations, nothing might ever come of them but it has been fun. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook you will know why I haven't been blogging.

Very sadly my dad died and as you might have read from one of my previous blogs (25th February) I have been his carer for the last four and a bit years. Eighteen months ago I gave up working as he needed 24/7 care this involved doing everything for him and since October of last year he became completely bedridden. I don't want this to come across as a sad blog, because the time we have all spent together as a family in the last four years has been very happy.

Family and friends during this time have been so very important to me; there is no way I would ever have coped if it wasn't for their love and constant support on a daily basis, not forgetting the two lovely nurses that came from the hospital twice a week. How anyone can manage to be a carer all by themself with no support team behind them I will never know. I count myself extremely lucky. As for my partner and sister I will never understand how they managed to put up with me these last few months.

My dad's final wishes were to go back from The Midlands to Devon for his funeral; he knew where he wanted the funeral to take place and which minister he wanted to take the service. Over a couple of weeks my sister and I got everything sorted, he had made this less difficult for us by discussing what he wanted.

Five of us travelled down to Devon the day before the funeral, we didn't meet up with family and friends that evening we just had a quiet time together in a hotel. I really wasn't sure exactly who or even how many people would be at the funeral as many relatives we haven't see or spoken to for quite a few years, just the usual Christmas and birthday cards.

The day had finaly arrived and as we walked into the church, that's when it really hit me how important family and friends are. My late mum had four sisters and my dad two, so there are a lot of cousins and they were all there with their husbands, wives and partners, many had travelled quite a distance to get there to pay their respects and support my sister and me. I feel very blessed to have such lovely family and friends, we might not see much of each other over the years but it's so reassuring to know they are always there when you need them the most.

Rest In Peace Billy your family love and miss you.




21 comments:

  1. That's lovely Ian, sad, but it sounds like you gave him a great send off!

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    1. Yes in a strange way it was a lovely day, to walk in the church and see so many family members was a big comfort.

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  2. You did him proud. What a lovely son you are :)
    Hugs x

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  3. I commented on my ipad and it went into cyberspace.
    So good to see you back on your blog again,I know from past experiences that after a bereavement you feel completely exhausted and have to give yourself time to get back to being you. I hope you're on the way Ian and looking forward to new challenges,job,home etc.. Your dad must have been so proud of his family especially you.

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    1. Thank you Anne yes big new challenges, a new home in a different part of the country all very exciting (i hope)x

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  4. Nice post and kudos to you for your selfless care - How nice for Billy to have had you there. Take some time for yourself now.

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  5. If he's in a cloud looking down at you, he must be so proud of you. I hope you find comfort in knowing that.

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  6. Thank you for the kind words Jo a big comfort. x

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  7. It's the order of things. That's what I was told after Mum died, but it's still not easy, especially when you've given over so much of your life to caring. Take time and be kind to yourself.

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    1. Thank you Rosalind for commenting, myself and the other half have had plans and dreams for many years so now is the time to start to put everything in motion we hope. x

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  8. Straight from the heart, Ian. It brought a tear to my eye but also a smile to my face as I read on and realised what a loving & caring person you clearly are and how wonderful a support network you have. So important. Be very proud. Your Dad must have been! xx

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    1. Thank you Jan my mum and her sisters did the same for my grandparents, I remember when I was at school two nights a week for many years off she would go to take her turn staying with them over night. There is no way I could have done it without the suport of my partner and sister. x

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  9. Ian - I too have travelled this path. I cared for my mum for seven years until I lost her last year. My mum left a notebook with ideas and suggestions for her sending-off, and it made things easier for my brother and I.
    There were no regrets. It was a privilege to spend such quality time with my mum, and I don't regret a minute of it. I feel you and I have much in common.
    Life will be different for you now. It's still early days, so don't rush anything. Healing takes time.
    Family and friends are the best. xx

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    1. Thank you Loura you have said it all in that one word 'privilege' x

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  10. How lovely for you that you could look after your dad and fulfill his final wishes, and how wonderful for your dad to have a son like you to look after him in his time of need. It must comfort you to know that you did your best for him. Your time now x

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    1. Thank you Amanda and yes its time for me and the other half, its the first time in 16 years we have not got to look out or care for anyone, all a little scary x

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  11. You dad was very lucky to have you. He was blessed with wonderful family. xxxx

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